Sonya and Chuck Pailes' Homebirth Story
First birth after a vasectomy reversal

Thomas Edward

born after 13 hours and 28 minutes of labor

December 8, 2000 at 5:58pm

He weighed 5 pounds and 8 ounces

It took a long time for me to be conceived, but finally in April of 2000 right before my mom's birthday they found out I was coming into the world! What a gift for mom! Dad was in agreement with mom and I knew it was the right time for me to come along!

It was a hectic and stressful year but somehow the pregnancy went very well with no problems. Through the 9 months that I was in mom's belly I heard lot's of talk about this homebirth thing and how mom had wanted to do this with my big brother but that dad hadn't been ready and that he was ready now and couldn't wait to catch me. I also heard mom say that she really trusted a CPM friend of hers and that it would be great for her to be there. Dad said that made him feel better too but he wanted to catch me even if she was there.

I was getting really excited about being born. My due date was around December 13th, but I really wanted to hurry because life just sounded grand out there. I heard my brother and sisters talking about how excited they were to see me too. I wanted to show mom that I was a boy, not a girl as she had called me for 9 months. She seemed to think since she correctly guessed the gender of her other children she was right about me too but I had plans to show her she can't always be right.

For 9 months I heard dad say that he hoped I would be born on a Friday so that he could have at least three days off of work. So, although they didn't know it I geared up on Dec. 7th 2000 to be born. On Friday morning December 8th at 4:30 in the morning dad's alarm clock went off as usual. But mom did not wake up in her usual way. As dad got dressed mom had a strange urge to hurry and get up, yet she also had a relaxed “I wonder why I feel so strange?” feeling. She knew somewhere deep down that today was the day I would come.

It was five o’clock in the morning and dad was about to leave for work. But mom told him, “Wait a second.” She stood to walk to the bathroom, her water was leaking a bit, but she didn't want to say anything to dad just yet; she had to be sure. With her other three children her water broke at the last second and the baby slid right out, so this was something new and she wasn't sure that her water had broke just yet. I wondered if her water was broke did that mean I was going to meet them in just a second like the others had done? Well mom decided that her water must have a tear or a slow leak but that it had not fully broke yet, or either I was blocking the water from coming. She had no pain, just mild cramping about every 10 minutes, so she told dad, “I think the baby will come today.” Then I heard dad say, “Should I stay home from work? Is that leaking thing normal? Does it hurt? Should you call someone?” He sounded funny, I had never heard dad sound like that. Mom told him no go on to work and she would call him as soon as she needed to. Dad didn't really want to go to work, but mom reminded him that she had 3 other children and knew what labor felt like and she thought she still had quite a bit of time to go. So, dad went on to work, but he called Mom about every half hour to see how she was doing.

Meanwhile, mom took a shower and then got the kids up to go to the homeschool Christmas get-together at a neat kid's place called Bullwinkles. Mom was getting ready to go and talked to dad on the phone. Dad told her she was crazy and she was not going to go to Bullwinkles, but mom insisted. She said she had promised a friend that she would go, they had secret pal gifts to give and the kids were so excited. She told him that she felt fine and wanted to spend her labor at Bullwinkles having fun with the kids. Bullwinkles sounded like so much fun and I was hoping to get here before they went so I could see it with my own two eyes.

Mom had noticed that the contractions were getting stronger and closer together; her water was leaking a bit more too. When dad said he would come home from work and they would go to Bullwinkles together, mom agreed. Dad got home at 11:00am and took a video while making jokes that we would “take the birth kit in the car with us.” They left for Bullwinkles with my brother and sisters and the camcorder, camera, and gifts in hand. At Bullwinkles mom told a few people she was in labor because it was hard to hide because she kept running to the bathroom. I think her water was still leaking and the contractions were getting stronger. However, mom just kept thinking, “OK I'll keep myself occupied a bit longer before we go home.” At about two o’clock in the afternoon I heard her tell dad, “We really need to go soon,” at three o’clock I heard her tell dad “We really need to go now.” So they said good-bye to all their friends and left. On the way home mom they had to stop for a bathroom break. Then, mom was feeling very dehydrated so they stopped again and got a drink, this time at my great grandfathers and she went to the bathroom again. They told everyone in the store that mom was in labor. I heard laughter; I think they thought mom and dad were joking. They said well if the baby is born today call us. Mom did make a phone call, but before I was born. She called my grandma while we were there to tell her the news and grandma asked if she should come but mom told her no it would still be awhile. I could tell Mom was getting nervous because she seemed fidgety and kept saying to dad, “OK I really think we should head home.”

Mom told dad in the car, “I don't think it will be much longer the contractions are getting really close and lasting a long time. I hope we make it home!” Dad asked if we had time to stop at the store to get some film for the camera, mom said, “If we hurry.” After stopping for film dad was video taping mom in the car and making jokes that we might as well go out to Golden Coral for dinner and do some shopping at Wal-Mart before we go home. Mom didn't seem like she was in a laughing mood.

We got home around 4:00pm and mom said she was going to clean the bathroom. I heard dad say, “Don't you think you should call the midwife?” Mom said “No, not yet, in a minute.” She sounded very strange. I think she was thinking, “I can't believe these contractions are already right on top of each other. Today went by too fast. I can't believe I'm in here cleaning the bathroom. Who am I kidding? I can't move much less clean a bathroom.” During this whole time it seemed like every few seconds dad knocked on the bathroom door and said, “Sonya, what are you doing?” Then mom would answer, “CLEANING.” Dad would say, “Don't you think you should call now?” Mom would say, “In a minute.” Finally dad knocked on the door and said, “I brought you the phone.” So, mom thought, “OK, the only way he is going to leave me alone is if I call.” So it was around 4:30pm or so when mom called her CPM friend and my grandma. Her CPM friend said she would be there soon and grandma was coming later.

Mom tried to pull herself together and went into the bedroom. She asked dad to help her change the sheets. I heard her tell dad, “Not much longer now. The contractions are right on top of each other. I hope this baby hurry's up!” Mom would help make the bed then stop for a contraction; it seemed like she would have one second to help make the bed and one-minute to get through the contraction, so the team bed making effort was not very successful.

When dad went to let the CPM in the house mom lay down on the floor and thought, “I can't do this and I must look ridiculous here on the floor.” Her CPM friend came in and said, “The first thing first you need to do is get those jeans off.” I couldn't believe I was on my way out and mom still had her pants on! Eventually the bed was made; the birth supplies were out, mom was in a gown, the birth candle the CPM had brought was lit and some music was on and all was ready for me to be born.

Mom felt she needed some privacy so she went into the bathroom and said a prayer for me and pushed with three contractions, when she came out of the bathroom dad said to her, “OK, are we ready to start pushing?” and mom told him he had better not say that to her again, that she would push when she was ready to push. Then she knelt next to the bed and had daddy hug her as she continued to push through a few more contractions, then mom's CPM friend came in and helped daddy get mom up on the bed. I heard Mom say, “I don't know how I want to be. I want to get back on the floor. I can't get comfortable.” I heard mom's friend say, “No you probably can't.” I know daddy was thinking mommy looked like a monkey crawling around on all fours on the bed, but I know that must have been right for mom. Then I heard mom let out a scream and I saw light. I heard daddy say, “I caught it!” Then he said, “Ahhhh, Sonya it's a boy! No, really? Wow, is he all right?” Yes, I was perfect! Then daddy tried to hand me to mom around mom's hips but of course the cord wouldn't reach. The CPM said, “No, through the legs” as she helped mom raise her leg enough for dad to give me to her.” Ahh, finally in my mom's arms, oh how nice it felt. They all waited awhile and mom nursed me a bit, dad cut my cord, life was grand. Later my brother and sisters came in and watched me get weighed. They were in awe of me and thought I was the best Christmas present they could get.

Eventually my grandma came over and helped my sisters clean the kitchen, do some laundry and cook grilled cheese sandwiches and soup. Yummm just the nourishment that mom needed to feed me. Mom had a bit of trouble with the placenta but went into the bathroom and pushed it out then caught it and asked for a bowl, the CPM gave Mom a quick lesson on the placenta, which mom thought was neat. Mom kept bleeding but took some herbs under her tongue and was okay. Over all, what a great day and a great beginning! Mom and dad have told me many times about the great birth I had!